5 Ways To Take Care Of You

As mothers, or as a person in general, life tends to find its way of getting the best of us. We get caught up in routine or we just assume that we don't have anytime left for ourselves -- wrong. It took me longer than it should have to realize that my health, physical and mental, was just as important as everyone else's. I worked a full time job, had dinner to cook, clothes to wash, dishes to do, on top of bath time and bedtime stories. By the time everything was done it was time for Cody and I to get in bed. It started to take its toll on me. I was beginning to feel anxious and that I was losing myself. I began to take myself into consideration. How was I feeling? What did I want? Now, there is a difference in taking care of yourself and only caring for yourself. Know that difference, especially with kids. Here are the five ways I have chosen to take care of myself. Feel free to steal them. :)

1. Remove Yourself From Routine

Even if that means doing something so small that is our of your ordinary. If you work, buy yourself an ice cream on your lunch break or take a few minutes to read your favorite book in your car. If you stay-at-home, go for a walk or learn how to make that recipe you've been pinning for the past 6 months. For me, when I was working, I decided to walk to work. Luckily, I was only a few minutes from work but it gave me time to collect my thoughts and prepare myself for the day. The fresh air was also nice. Walks have become one of my favorite things. Even now at home, I enjoy taking the boys for a walk around the neighborhood. We point out birds, dogs, different types of leaves, and appreciate the little things in our neighborhood that we don't have time to notice otherwise. It is the best time to talk to them about things they would normally feel lectured about, however, removing them from their normal environment makes it feel less like a chore. I usually take the opportunity to talk to them about the importance of manners or staying tidy. We discuss it like a casual conversation, they soak it in better knowing they aren't pressured and not having anyone wag a finger in their face. We also take random trips to a store to "just look." I make it a point to let them know beforehand "We are just going in to check out what this store has, but we aren't buying anything today." And we will head to the toys and they go to each one to test it out. And I take this opportunity to see what their interests are. What type of toys they're leaning towards, which helps around the holidays. Just because you stay-at-home does not mean you are limited to the walls of your house. Lately, at nap time, I have really enjoyed reading on my front porch. Even though it is Summer and hotter than the devil's kitchen outside, I have actually taken a small fan with me and have been able to get through a couple of chapters.

2. You Want It, Buy It.

This one took me a while to get used to. Only because, like most households, we are on a budget. You have to know what to sacrifice and how to balance it out to be able to get what you want without feeling guilty for it. I was the world's worst at saying "Oh, I love this!" And then pushing my shopping cart right by it. In my mind I am thinking "Well, we do have this utility bill coming up or a car insurance payment that is due... it can wait." And though this is a very responsible way to think and budget... you have to keep in mind that sometimes you just deserve it. Whether we are stay at home or working, we all have a job and we all work hard. Sometimes, we deserve to pick up something pretty in a store and say "I'm going to buy this today." Now I do mean to keep these things in reason, please don't go buy a new car and get me in trouble! But if there is a nice blouse or shoes or a new candle that you want and it doesn't jeopardize anything else -- get it. And this doesn't go for just moms. I tell my husband the same thing. Now, within our budget, we can't just go shopping for things on the regular but sometimes, we will go in a store with a set amount and he will get what he can for himself and then on our next trip out I can do the same. We always discuss it with one another beforehand, not because we have to, but because its courteous to keep your spouse involved. And if it is something bigger that you want, you can always buy a little at a time. We want to completely makeover our fireplace with some tile, and to keep from going in and dropping a huge amount at once, we pick up things here and there. It doesn't affect us as much financially and it is exciting to know that we will eventually have it finished without it taking a huge chunk of change. 

3. Give Fast Food A Break

I am not huge on fast food in general, but I do have a weak spot for a good chicken sandwich. Whether it is Wendy's or Chick-fil-a, I get way too excited over spicy poultry and a large lemonade. When we get busy or our work hours start to get a little crazy, its just easier to "grab something on the way home." Little do you know the affect that fast food can have on you. I can always tell when we are eating out a lot, I start to feel sluggish after meals. I feel too full. I tend to always make myself try to finish everything because fast food is higher than average groceries and I don't want it to go to waste. And speaking of money, it is so easy to lose track of it when you are buying out. Especially for a family of four. Our worst days to eat out are weekends. After a long work week sometimes you just don't feel like it -- and that's okay! But try to manage it wisely. Think about it. Each time we go to grab something to eat, it usually costs us anywhere for $20-30 dollars each meal. At three meals a day that is anywhere from $60.00 to $90.00!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I COULD BUY AT TARGET WITH 90.00?! Um, maybe that gold tripod lamp I have been wanting forever and still have leftovers to grab a Strawberry and Cream frapp at Starbucks on the way out! *deep breaths* So, yes, fast food can certainly be convenient, but as mentioned in the previous paragraph, manage your money wisely and then you can actually treat yourself to something you really want. Something that will last longer and not make you feel bloated! And cooking is also something that you and your spouse can do together! Look up some Pinterest recipes on a budget and try a different one each night. And if you prefer to cook alone, put in some earbuds and enjoy some you time. Can't go wrong with music and food!

4. Disconnect Yourself From WiFi.

Don't run. Bare with me. Most of our stress and worries come from scrolling through our newsfeed. Let's be honest.. we all see that mom that just looks like she is doing it better than you, the one that finds time to work out and manage to get out of yoga pants and fix her hair for the day. There is the couple with the perfect relationship. And then there is the one that appears to have all of these nice things and seems to pull money from their butt. Let me let you in on a little secret: No one is perfect. And we don't normally share the unhappy moments that get us from one of those smiling selfies to the other. Go ahead and get out of the mindset that someone out there has a better life than you. We all are given different opportunities and different struggles. Some are just better at hiding them than others. This is why I suggest logging off for a while. Take an afternoon and just don't look at any social media. Write in a journal, share feelings that you can't post on Facebook. Try a new hobby. As hard as it is to believe, the world doesn't revolve around social media. 

5. Don't Forget About Your Friends

You would be amazed at how much better you feel after talking to an old friend. This has been one of my favorite transitions I have made recently. I have made time for my friends. Obviously, with a busy schedule it is hard to make time... but you have to do exactly that. Make time. I am lucky enough to have friends with kids, so we can always get them together for play dates and then we can sit back and talk about old times. But every once in a while you need time for just girl talk. This is what actually pushed me to create a mom group. We have so much fun together, discussing mistakes and mishaps, the ups and downs of motherhood and the hilarious experiences we've had. It is always something that we can all relate to. This has made its biggest impact on me. I have found a few hours every other week to go to dinner with my girls. To talk about what is going on in our lives and laugh. As moms, and as women, we deserve to get out of the routine (even if only for a couple of hours) and enjoy ourselves. It was difficult for me to come out of my comfort zone, because I always felt so guilty leaving the kids, but I knew that this was something I needed for me. And being a happier mom would make a positive impact on their lives as well. So, call that old friend you've been saying you'd go to lunch with for months, or the new friend that you seem to share interests with on social media. We are all human and we all just want to find people to surround ourselves with that make us happy. It is not as hard as you think.

I hope you enjoyed this blog and I hope you take it to heart. Take care of yourself. Stay happy. Stay healthy.

"floating" shelves

Long time no post! Between kids and a full time job, it has been so hard to find time for any projects! We did, however, get our living room painted (in one night, might I add) and some last minute shelves hung up. And even though we have a long ways to go before it is exactly what we want, the pieces are starting to come together in my mind. I have always loved the idea of a warm cozy feeling of a living. That "home" feeling when you walk in the door. That is what I want. I love knick-knacks and trinkets and greenery. I just needed somewhere to put it all. And that is where our "floating" shelves came into play. 

Cute? I think so. Now I will give credit where credit is due. Would not have been able to do this without the hubs. (Happy, Dear?) He found me the greatest pieces of wood that were just the size that I needed on his job site at work. He and his coworker rummaged through scrap wood until they found the best pieces. (shout out to Will, too!) 

Now, many women would not be thrilled to come home to find 4 pieces of wood in the living room floor when your husband tells you he has a surprise for you -- but this chick has been wanting some floating shelves for quite some time! This was the easiest project ever. Just got some Rust-Oleum stain at Wal-Mart. The shade of stain is "Kona" and it was exactly the color that I wanted and it dries in an hour! Which is exactly what impatient people like me love. 

After the stain was applied we just waited an hour fourty-five minutes for it to dry and then my handy-dandy husband attached L brackets -- BOOM! "Floating" shelves. And I use the term floating loosely, because you can still see the brackets, however, he hung them upside down so that you can't see them from underneath... and we both knew I had enough junk to fill the shelves so they wouldn't show. So unless you're looking very closely, you can hardly tell they aren't really floating shelves. 

See?!

And if you are wondering what color we decided to go with.. it was a shade we found at Lowe's called Lighthouse Shadows. 

My little man approved so it was good with me! It was a tad more "baby blue" than I wanted to begin with, but after adding the shelves and seeing the contrast of the dark wood against it, I am happy with our choice!

So, that is our new contribution to our living room! Next stop, fireplace!! 

And if you did not care for that... here is a picture of Oliver using Cody's neck pillow to be a Triceratops. Enjoy.

my circus. my monkeys.

I decided to write about something that really grinds my gears tonight. And this is something that has bothered me since I have had children of my own. Why is it that mothers feel the need to judge other moms so harshly? And not just mothers, but grandmothers, great grandmothers as well. When I think of this subject, my mind always goes back to a time when Oliver was only a couple months old, it was around Christmas and Cody and I were doing some last minute shopping. Of course, it was chilly outside and we were in and out of stores. I had the boys bundled up and was carrying a swaddled Oliver into one of the stores when I noticed his head was sweating from the cap on his head. I slid the hat off and tucked it away in my purse and continued our search. A woman, that I had never seen before in my life, stopped me and said "Don't you think that baby's head needs to be covered? Do you know how cold it is outside? That is how children get sick!" Before I could answer she turned up her nose and walked away. I was mad. I was embarrassed. And had completely forgotten what I was even in Target for. I picked up a couple items and we made our way back to the car. On the ride home I thought to myself this shouldn't bother me. Why am I so worked up over something one woman said? Let it go. But I couldn't. And because one thing, that I am sure any mother can relate to, is the fact that we don't like anyone thinking or assuming we aren't doing what we are supposed to do. That lady had no idea that my child's hat was in my purse and that I had just taken it off, she just took it upon herself to approach me very rudely and make an unnecessary comment. Now, let me come out of this flashback because I am getting a little pissed thinking about it. Okay, back to present day.


My point is that I am over this mom bashing. When I tell you that I do not allow my kids to have soda on a regular basis or monitor their sugar intake, do not look at me like I am depriving them. When I say that I spank my children when they are misbehaving, do not look at me like I abuse them. In my house, we do what works for us. This is my circus. Those are my monkeys.


I have organized a mom group full of fantastic mothers and there is one thing that I can say: None of us parent the same, but does that mean some are good and some are bad? No. As mothers, we should use our nourishing and supportive nature to uplift each other and encourage each other in the times that we feel we are lacking. We should never feel embarrassed to admit that we cannot do it all. Sometimes, we just don't feel like playing with matchbox cars for the thousandth time. And sometimes, we hide in the laundry room and eat our kids' Halloween candy. The point is, what is judging someone else going to do for you? How is bringing another woman down going to benefit you? If you chose to formula feed, and you see a breastfeeding mom -- why not compliment her on her efforts? Maybe you just physically could not breastfeed, or chose not to because of your work schedule... but why not tell her how much you admire her determination to push through the pain or manage her time? And the same goes for moms that chose to use formula. I am so tired of formula shaming. I physically could not breastfeed. My milk literally just was not there. I had no choice but to choose a formula. I hated the process of going through different formulas, I felt that I had failed because that is one thing mothers are supposed to be able to do. And I could not tell you the number of times I have received nasty comments because I formula fed. Not one time did anyone ask me why or about my personal experience. They just jumped to judgement. Same goes for discipline (and I am really guilty of this one.) The way you choose to discipline your child is no one else's business. And even though it is so hard for me to turn my head and walk away when a child is throwing himself down on the toy isle at Wal-Mart and calling his mother by her first name... I still do. Even though I personally don't agree with it and my child would be holding a frozen package of peas on his behind, I don't have to take that kid home so its not. my. business.

So the point of my rambling tonight, is no matter what the case is... let's all try to uplift, to support, and encourage. Because no matter how you choose to parent we can all say that we have cried behind a closed bathroom door, peed in our pants from a weak bladder, forgotten when the last time we washed our hair was, paced the floors at 3 am, and most importantly... spend 100% of our time trying to keep another human being alive. We have a big job. The most important in the world. One that you can't call out of. So instead of making it a competition, let's do it together.

Have a good night, mommies!

starting from scratch.

When we first bought our house, which was a little over 2 years ago, *tear* I wanted to go with a very simple design element. I chose a lot of light grays and whites. At first it was easy on the eyes, very quaint and pleasant, but now it bores me. I've avoided my living room for days because every time I am there -- I get the makeover itch. It doesn't make it better that I am seriously addicted to HGTV's Fixer Upper and I am 98% sure Joanna Gaines is my spirit animal. I am not crazy about the farmhouse look, I have never been drawn to that style. However, I will say that I admire the way her homes flow and I took that into consideration when I started planning my living room makeover against my husband's will. 

I will start from the beginning. This is the living room when we first bought the home. Minus the furniture. 

Now as I am sure you other moms can relate -- walking into a room SO white makes you a little nervous when you have two toddlers, but it did give us a pretty blank canvas to work with. I can't say that for the other room in the house that had wood panelled walls and maroon carpet... but we will save that for another time! 

First thing we did was start ripping up carpet. The fact that there were hardwoods underneath, that were still in great condition, did something to my soul. Not only have I been a hardwood fan for pretty much forever, having a husband and child with severe allergies makes it very difficult to keep carpet around. We knew it had to be the first to go. 

How awesome is that hardwood?! And this was JUST my husband and I cleaning them up with soap and water, and putting on a protective coating that made them shine! In this photo the condition actually looks a lot better than what it actually was. Being first time homeowners on a budget, we were satisfied with this at the time. We did have spots (by the doorways) that were really dark and damaged so we have had the floors professionally done after horrible attempts to sand and stain them ourselves. We just won't even go there. Needless to say, after a few hours we were pricing the pros! 

We ordered our furniture not long after and I was happy with the way everything looked. It seemed cozy. Keep in mind, this photo was taken about 2 years ago -- so the furniture has survived sippy cups, front flips, sleepovers, hide and seek -- and they are barely hanging on. Two of the buttons have given up on us and the rug has seen better days. Now that my boys are a little older and have somehow learned how to sit on furniture appropriately, it is time for an update! 

Which brings me to a few nights ago, we were on the couch  and I said "Wouldn't it be nice if we could just start over? Just clear this room out and repaint with new furniture and just refresh everything?" And then my clever, clever husband replies, "Why can't we?" Those three words were all I needed! Today, I have some potential buyers coming to hopefully take the furniture off my hands... we plan to roll up that old rug and just start over! I played it safe the first time with very bland colors but this time I need something that suits us a little more. We are far from a bland family. 

I have been looking over paint colors, channeling my inner Joanna and keeping in mind that we are still on a budget! So, this project will not be an over-nighter! I am taking my time on this one because this is the style that I want to stay until we decide to sell this house. Right now I am IN LOVE with Delft by Sherwin Williams but I am giving myself time to explore the options and trying to find furniture that would accent it. 

I am so excited about this project and I am psyched that I can share it. Check back to see what progress we are making. Hopefully some videos to come soon!